PROFITABLE MATHEMATICS

MISSION TO MARS

NASA was interviewing professionals they were thinking of sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one-way trip, the guy not ever returning to Earth.

The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One million dollars," the engineer answered. "And I want to donate it all to my alma mater – Rice University."

The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question. "Two millions dollars," the doctor said. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer' s ear, "Three million dollars." "Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked. The lawyer replied," You give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send the engineer."

Sounds like "for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light." ...

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN POT & PATIO PLANTS?

While listening to the radio this morning, I happened on a reference to a firm in Kilkenny that introduces new plants to Ireland. I have had a look at their website and they seem to specialise in pot and patio plants. Some of you may be interested in this so I am passing on some links you can visit to find out more.


Learn more by visiting: how to care for MyPlants, pots and planters, and latest news.
See our fantastic plants on the slideshow website.
http://www.slidestory.com/slidestorys.swf?scid=932
Our new blog can be seen at http://fitzgeraldnurseries.blogspot.com/
You can also download our PDF brochure.

CUTE YOUTUBE POSTING

Quite by accident during one of my browsing sessions, I stumbled upon a dainty offering on YOUTUBE. It is called "Six and a half loves -- chapter one : goodbye". I think the graphics are very pretty and the story is sweet but this is only chapter one. Wonder what will happen down the line?
I am including the link to it below. Place your cursor on the address and double click. Hope you like it and do comment.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7vNAfmKCJg

EASTER

First of all, an apology to the blondes among you! My good lady wife, herself a blonde, passed the following to me. And may you all have a lovely Easter.

What Is Easter?

Three blondes die and arrive at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The first blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful."

"Wrong!," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong.

He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde. He asks, "What is Easter?" The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is."

"Oh?" says an incredulous St. Peter. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. The third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."

Ouch!!

END OF COMPUTER COURSE -- FOR NOW ONLY, WE HOPE

To-day, April 1st, is our last gathering at the Galway Education Centre under the auspices of the Galway Retired Teachers Asociation. We have had a most enlightening, and enjoyable computer course under the tutelage of Mr. Speedie himself, the fountain of computer knowledge (and much else) Brendan Smith.
Brendan we will miss the weekly session with you but hopefully we will get together again sometime in the future. Have a good Summer and again míle buíochas.

WOMEN CANNOT FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS, CAN THEY?

My wife, my dear one, e-mailed me this "story" the other day. I wonder if she was trying to tell me something!!!

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists;two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must be certain that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .. . . Kill her!!

'The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Six shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said.

'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

And who says women can't follow instructions!!!

RETIRED TEACHERS GALWAY NEW WEBSITE

We have been gathering, all twenty of us, in the Galway Education Centre for the past year. We have progressed bit by bit until by now we are capable of "tangling" with blogs. Mary Kyne is our "Commander" and she has set up a Website for us, the Retired Primary School Teachers in Co. Galway. She has posted a number of fine articles and informative pieces. And we have added our "incisive" comments.
Come back early and often and keep up-to-date with us.